Life in Quarantine

     This post may be a bit redundant, as much of it has been discussed in my previous two blog posts and on my facebook Live videos. However, much of it bears repeating, especially having reached the milestone of 50 days in isolated quarantine. A majority of this post is going to be answering a lot of the most common questions people have been asking me about my time in here, as well as a compilation of highlights (or lowlights) of my time contained in a a single cabin on the ship. 

     I would like to start with a statement that is a running theme throughout my blog posts; however, it is especially poignant here, for reasons that will become quite apparent throughout: the situations and conditions I discuss in this post are factual and my interpretation of these are opinion based (through the lens of someone who is living it). You are welcome to read about the conditions I have been placed in and reach your own conclusions. I have been told by some that I have overreacted to some things, and been told by others that I should be more outraged than I have been of late. So I invite you step into the world of the pandemic on a cruise ship and react in a way that feels most authentic to you when you read what it has been like.

     As I stated above, I have officially been in isolated quarantine for 50 days. During that time I have been contained in a single passenger cabin on the ship. I find myself in this position due to a series of circumstances that are largely my own fault. Unfortunately, being to blame for the position that I am in greatly enhances many of the frustrations I have felt toward the topics I will discuss here. When the time came that the ship I am on (but before it was announced that every other ship in the fleet) would stop, I reached out to the home office, asking if I would be able to be transferred to another ship that was still operational. I am not going to pretend I did this for some noble reason, I did this for the same reason many people continue to work on cruise ships (despite the difficulties the life onboard may present) money. I had only been on contract for under two months and had not had enough time to save up money to last however long I would be without work. Obviously this request was denied, as many ships were being scheduled to cease sailing, but they did say that I would be staying as part of the 60(ish) person skeleton crew that would be kept on the ship during that time. They gave me the option to decline, but I was assured I would be paid and the likely timeframe would be only two months, so I eagerly took the opportunity to continue making money knowing I would be unlikely to find work back home.

     Shortly, the company began disembarking crew members from this (and other ships) in droves. Hundreds of crew members were disembarking every day. While there had been no testing done for the virus on the ship (and despite care being taken with both remaining and disembarking crew) approximately 200 crew members remained when multiple people, including a close friend of mine, tested positive upon their arrival home. This resulted in the stop of all disembarkation of the remaining crew off the ship, and a demand was made for tests to ensure the virus on the ship was contained, and any future crew members wishing to go home were confirmed negative before travel. 

     While I understand that with impending country border closures and travel bans, the company was trying to get as many people home as possible; I think a plan should’ve been devised by the home office to be implemented on all ships, that would place all crew members in a mandatory 14 day quarantine, with testing, before being allowed to disembark and travel home. This was a feeling that was echoed amongst few others on the ship, as everyone was eager to make it back to their families, but it likely and unfortunately resulted in others being infected (possibly even myself).

     Once it was discovered that a close friend had tested positive, I immediately sought out the doctor and offered to be placed in isolation, hours before the official order came from the master of the ship. Myself, and a select group of people who hung out together (with the aforementioned crew member) were instructed to pack our bags because we would be moved into isolation for 14 days. This was received differently throughout the people of the group: with some (myself included) being understanding and wanting to do what was best for the health of others, some being scared, and one being angry. His anger was understandable because it meant that it would be unlikely he would be able to find a way home to his family in a reasonable amount of time, especially since all disembarkation immediately stopped (whether by command of the company or the port authority). 

     I asked whether or not we would be allowed to return to our original cabins afterward, I was assured I would and decided to only pack a small travel bag with 3-4 outfits (figuring I could spend time without clothes while alone on or would not need as many clothes) They brought us to the same cabins that had been used for isolation during the virus scare of our last cruise (see my previous blog entries), but were moved up to larger balcony cabins in a passenger area the next day. The people moving us make it very clear that they were moving us for the optics: if the shore authorities, or anyone else were to see us, they wanted to make sure that we were comfortable. We were told we were expected to be tested in the next couple days. Thus the normal everyday cycle of eating, doctor examinations, and trying to pass the time began.

     The first 14 days passed very slowly; likely because I had something to look forward to: getting out; but unfortunately, it didn’t really work out that way. Now time slips by much more quickly. (I still can’t believe it has been over a month since that first 14 days passed.)

Testing

     Despite being told that we would be tested early into our isolation, we were not tested until day 15. On day 14 we were allowed to briefly leave the cabin (standing by in case the doctors came aboard the ship), but the following day, we were not allowed to leave at all because of testing. I do wish the company or doctor had warned me in advance what the test consists of. Though I doubt it would’ve made much difference, because there is no way to prepare for a cotton swab being shoved up your nose. 

     Having now gone through the test 6 times (as of my writing this), I have become a bit of a pro (with the doctors and nurses all remarking that I am one of the only people who doesn’t flinch, gag, or react in a negative way to the test being done. My tests have come back positive, positive, negative, positive, negative, and am waiting for the results of my final test. Despite my time in quarantine and isolation, we are not allowed to leave until we receive two consecutive negative tests. A feat made all the more difficult by the inaccuracy of the test, because (according to studies) the test can show positive when inert fragments of the virus are still present in the sinuses, despite posing no threat.

     The authorities in the port, are also incredibly strict regarding their testing policy. For the first couple tests, we were only given tests once every two weeks (with a confirmation test given for negative results after only a couple days) and results coming back a harrowing 24-96 hours later. While they have since increased testing to a frequency of one-per-week, they do not regard any positive as a false positive. When my first negative was met with a positive shortly after, my doctor pleaded with the authorities to treat this as a false positive (as I had just had a negative and I had been in isolation for over 40 days at the time). This was rejected and the cycle started all over again. 

     We recently, in the past couple weeks, have begun preparing for the tests by clearing out our sinuses and gargling with a peroxide and water solution, and swabbing our sinuses with a small amount of vaseline. The peroxide is known to kill the virus on surfaces and is not harmful to the body in small quantities (thought very uncomfortable to stick up your nose) and I am not entirely sure the benefit of the vaseline (but who am I to argue with the expertise of the doctor that has truly had my best interests at heart throughout this process). These have met with mixed results (see myself and my mixed bag of test results), but I have diligently kept up with the regimen because, at this point, I will drink peroxide if it meant I would get to finally go home. 

The Cabin

     As I stated before, it was made pretty clear that we were being moved into the passenger cabin for optics. However, regardless of the reasoning, this was something that company did that I agree with. While we aren’t sailing, there is no reason why the crew can not occupy passenger cabins. Every crew member is now being held in a balcony cabin on the ship and they are to treat it like any crew cabin they are staying in; they are responsible for the cleanliness of the cabin, disinfecting etc. (which is made difficult when the first couple weeks lacked any provisions like replacements for clean linens or toilet paper). Because everyone on the ship is now in isolation (save for 30 or so crew members), we are provided with disinfectant, and vacuums are nearby for cleaning purposes, but the entirety of our time is spent confined by these “four walls.” We are not supposed to go to other people’s cabins and other people are not supposed to come to ours (thought some people have not abided by that rule very strictly). This is especially true of the quarantine area of the ship (which is located on a different floor than the rest of the crew) where doctors come to our cabins twice daily (once in the morning and once in the afternoon) to monitor our oxygen levels in our blood, and our body temperatures.

     While the cabins themselves are comfortable (despite no air conditioning to avoid the spread of contaminated air and occasional high cabin temperatures with no fans), I have begun to view them as cushy prison cells with a view. Much like Alcatraz’s legendary view of the city of San Fransisco, every day I can look out from the balcony at a city that is so close, and yet so unreachable. I can spend every day talking with my friends and family on the phone (if I choose to, and am willing to pay for it… more on that shortly), but they are ultimately just faces and voices from a phone. The most face-to-face interaction I have is with the doctors, the restaurant workers who bring food, and the housekeeping crew who bring us clean linen when they come to my door. Which, for a highly social person like myself, could also be described as my own personal hell. Contributing to this feeling is the recent hopelessness that has overtaken me more often than not. I feel like this will ultimately stretch on indefinitely, with freedom so tantalizingly close, but never am I able to reach it.

     It is also worth noting that in a cabin with little more than a bed, a couch, a tv (with only 2-3 channels per language), a chair, and a bathroom, there is little to occupy most of the time in the day. I have found myself sleeping more, bathing more, and playing more cell-phone games in an effort to kill hours that seem to drag on endlessly. Unfortunately, keeping myself sane during these months hasn’t come free. 

Paying to stay onboard

     This section is going to encapsulate a lot of what makes me very frustrated to be in this position. It has now become public knowledge that my company (as well as many others) have decided to “freeze” the contracts of their crew members (while keeping the crew on the ships) relieving them of their obligation to pay. However, our contracts are based on a union mandated collective bargaining agreement. In that agreement it states that we are supposed to be paid until we are disembarked (or as is my understanding). Since none of us have been disembarked (nor have I signed anything agreeing to a freezing or termination of my contract), the company is supposed to continue paying us (despite their assurances that we will not be “required” to work during this time… as if I have a choice). 

     This is more infuriating for me, as I stayed on the ship, (resulting in me missing my opportunity to make it home and possibly resulting in my infection with the virus) because of the promise of pay. I didn’t chose to get infected and not work, and there are clauses in the contract that also cover us for situations including times where we are medically unable to perform our duties. The contract also states, “A seafarer requested by the Company to leave his employment before the agreed period of service on board the vessel has expired, through no fault of his own… or on the loss, laying up or sale of the vessel, shall be entitled to receive compensation equivalent to 2 (two) months of basic monthly wage.” I have been hearing from others that the company has been playing on the loyalties of their crew members and getting them to sign documents forfeiting their rights to this money in exchange for the promise of returning to a contract within 6 months, otherwise the company will pay. But it is my understanding of the contract that the company is obligated to pay regardless of when (or if) we go back to work. 

     While this news has, of course, rubbed me the wrong way, and I am frustrated for myself; I am more worried for other people. There are a great number of people still stuck on the ships, who work to support families back home. Those families rely on the income generated by these people and now their pay has ceased, with no way for them to get home and hopefully find another job. Making that situation worse for both my fellow crew members and I, is that many of us are paying to be here. 

     Once I was moved into a passenger cabin, I noticed something horrifying: the internet wasn’t working. The company, at the start of this pandemic, implemented free social media internet service for all crew members onboard. This, to me, was a bandaid, as few things on social media were likely to occupy 50 days worth of isolated time. But soon, it became worse when I realized that the cabin they had moved me to, couldn’t even get the meager internet the company was willing to provide. This was brought to the attention of the hotel director (who did champion free internet for those of us being put into isolation), but nothing ever came of it. It soon became increasingly apparent that I would need a new SIM card. Luckily I was able to get one from a coworker to hold me over (so long as I paid to put data on it) until I was able to procure one of my own. My mother swooped in and located one on Amazon Italia and it reached me after about a week. This (along with the first recharge of my coworker’s SIM) was the first of many charges that has now reached over 300 euro between my family and myself. This money is just for me to have cell phone service enough to contact my family, watch the occasional TV show (though not too much to run down my data) and attempt to keep myself occupied since the ship  hasn’t provided us with anything to meet those ends. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for crew members stuck out at sea since they can’t use cell phone service and aren’t receiving free internet from the company. 

Food

     Most other charges I have incurred have been a result of food. To understand why this is even a necessity, allow me to discuss the food situation on the ship. For the first two weeks of isolation (during which time food was still being prepared on the ship), the food was pretty standard crew-mess fare and was nothing to write home about, being brought to us three times per day along with a 1 liter bottle of water). They usually abided by most dietary restrictions if it could be helped (thought I did occasionally come across meat on my plate, despite 15 years of being a vegetarian, and them having been made aware of it). Unfortunately, most food on the ship is very carb heavy and this was no exception, with a heavy emphasis placed on white rice and pasta for most of my meals. 

     Once all non-essential crew were placed in isolation (including kitchen staff) food was provided for us from off the ship. I believed this was being provided by the port authority (as I was told that it was delivered to the ship on a near-daily basis) though I am now unsure. Once this method of food delivery was established the care and quality of the food (which is little more than hospital quality) dropped substantially. There were days where they brought me meat by accident and I would return it to the people delivering the food, reminding them that I can not eat it (effectively cutting my meal in half); but the worst were the days where they only had meat. Very little solutions were proposed to solve this dilemma, and only once was I called to ask if I would like some cheese sandwiches instead (the sandwiches were just cheese and lettuce on bread rolls, but I appreciated the effort nonetheless). 

     It has only been a couple days since we have begun fully functioning kitchen duties again, and since then I have had two meals where my entire meals has been ONLY white rice and potatoes. While I understand the kitchens may need time to get back up in to their normal functionality, it seems like very little care is taken to meet crew members’ basic nutritional standards if they require certain dietary restrictions. This is true for not only me, who is a vegetarian by choice, but for those with celiacs disease, or food allergies, who regularly received foods they also can not eat. This is why food is a cause for spending more money. 

     While we are in isolation, the crew shop is open and is operated by the shop manager (who is considered essential personnel). She can be reached by phone at certain times of the day and will take orders, charge it to your cabin and it will be brought up to your cabin in the afternoon. That means that snacks (to eat between the 7.5 hour difference from lunch at 12:30pm and dinner at 8:00pm or to supplement meals when we can’t eat part/all of them) have to be paid for by us. 

     There are also some of us who have had to pay for additional beverages. For a period of time, we were getting about 3 liters of water per day. This was then cut down to about 1.5 liters of water per day (delivered only at lunch) with a juice box in the morning (and even some days with only 1 liter of water to last for the whole day). Only a couple weeks ago the company began delivering soft drinks for us at dinner or lunch and provided us with a kettle for us to make tea, but before that time, the only things we had to drink were room temperature water. So some people took to going in to their mini-fridge (located in each passenger cabin). In those mini-fridges there were soft drinks, additional waters, some alcohol, and some snacks and people informed me that they chose to drink some of these. However, it was then decided by the ship, that the people in these cabins would be charged for anything missing from these refrigerators. Not only were they charged (even for things like water), but they were charged passenger prices, which are considerably higher than what we pay as crew members. This is precious money that many crew members need as we are not getting paid any more to be here, despite not having other options because we can not order drinks.

Laundry

    While internet may be a sore spot for me and others paying for their entertainment, and the food may sometimes be barely edible, we now reach an issue that subjected us to a status of nearly subhuman. As I stated before, I was only expecting to come in to isolation for 14 days, and packed very lightly (I didn’t want to have to pack, unpack, repack, and unpack again in a span of two weeks). After a few weeks in isolation, it was remarked by both myself and my neighbor (when we chatted on facebook) that we were unaware of how we would be able to do our laundry. Our isolation had been extended (for at least two more weeks), but we hadn’t been given any chance to procure any more provisions or clean the ones we had. When my neighbor inquired about laundry, he was told to do it in his cabin. 

     Because I didn’t have any laundry detergent in my cabin, and soaking my clothes in hot water wasn’t likely to do anything except cause them to shrink, I just gritted my teeth and dealt with it (even when my isolation was extended YET AGAIN due to another positive test result). When (after a false alarm with one negative test), I realized I wouldn’t be leaving, I had had enough. I had been wearing the same clothes for 45 days and I asked my doctor how I could go about washing them. Her, being the amazing person that she is, offered to do them for me. She then pushed the ship command to implement a laundry service for us, though I can not imagine what took them so long to do so. 

     I have since managed to get the last of my stuff out of my old cabin providing me with more clothes and laundry detergent. I have also done a load of laundry (my socks and underwear, which we were told would NOT be done by the ship) in my bathtub… a situation I never would’ve foreseen for myself.

Communication

     Being in this situation is hard. Being in this situation with little to occupy your time is harder. Being in this situation with little to occupy your time while the world goes on outside your door and you are given little information as to its happenings is hardest. While I know a lot of what is happening in my country through the news I watch on the tv or on my phone, much of what happens on the ship or with the company remains a mystery. A lot of information tends to make its way to us through news publications; which has, at least for me, made me feel like we are not worth being told the things that are happening. 

     For the first couple weeks, we were told that we could contact the doctor, the bridge or the hotel director if we needed anything or had any questions. However, most of those people have since disembarked (including the captain whose position was taken over by the staff captain), making communication much more difficult. My main doctor, who is amazing, was quarantined herself for a while and was replaced with a doctor who speaks very little English. The captain would come to see us about once-per-week, but with very little new information. We were, on rare occasion, only given a sheet of paper with some updates (like the announcement of payment ceasing). 

     While in more recent weeks, at the insistence and with the aid of the home office (according to sources), the ship has been trying to keep abreast of more announcements that they deem essential. Unfortunately, certain breaking news situations have not been shared with us. For instance the operational updates of the company, including when the company expects to be up and running again and any delays, or even the death of a fellow crew member. It was discovered when it was reported in the news that a crew members from the ship had passed away from the virus and the company and the ship never shared that information with us. This is very disheartening because there are people who may have been close with that person (as many people are want to do when living together for months). 

     But it isn’t just the communications from the ship that are lacking. Communications directly from the company have been incredibly rare. Despite being made aware of my situation and my infection with the virus, I was never reached out to by my heads of department to check in on me. In fact it took over four weeks for ANYONE from the home office to reach out to me and see how I have been doing (excluding my fleet supervisor). Now having done so, they have been supportive, pleasant and understanding, regularly reaching out to me and informing me of things I was previously unaware of: there are people (therapists or similar) to help crew members cope during this time and there is a website set up by the company to help keep us occupied. Despite having a strong understanding that these are very uncertain times and everything is very fluid, I feel it would do right by the crew members to keep them updated more frequently, even if you have to later explain that situations have changed and the earlier information may no longer be accurate. 

     While many of these things would’ve had little impact on my day-to-day life, combined with an overall feeling of being kept in the dark, it is hard to get a clear picture of when I may be able to get home. 

Keeping Afloat

     A friend of mine recently made a good point: in a world of constant change, information is more rare than gold. 

     Just to start, I will give an update on me specifically. When I began writing this, I was at the end of my quarantine isolation. I added the qualifier of “when I began writing this,” because, from the time I started writing this to the time I finished, things have changed… and it is crazy to see how fast that happens around here. The day I began writing this was the day I was first tested for the virus. Originally I was supposed to be released by ship command, but my release was denied by some force off-ship (whether it was port agents or in accordance with the Italian government, I never got a straight answer). The command came that they did not want me (or the others that were being held in isolation) released until I was tested (which is fair and reasonable). Based on the closeness of the friends who tested positive upon their time of disembarkation and arrival home, I was certain I would’ve tested positive at the beginning of my isolation, I was less certain whether or not the test would come back with the same results at the end. This was especially true because, leading up to the test, I didn’t know what type of test I would be receiving. Side note: the type of test I received is very uncomfortable. Somehow I was the only one who didn’t know how the test was done until the cotton swab was up my nose rubbing around in my sinus cavity. All of which, for some reason that is unknown to me, is video taped by  officials during the testing (I can only speculate why, but I believe it is because they wanted to video tape me to see if I demonstrate any symptoms, and video how we are living while in isolation). Shortly after receiving the test, it was spread amongst the departments (or so I heard) that all crew members would be put in isolation. Well, since starting this post, my test came back and it was indeed positive. But apparently, I was far from the only one: several others, came back positive as well. And while I can’t be sure  (because I was never given the test results of my peers and the entirety of the crew hasn’t gone through its testing process yet), I believe the time will come that we find I am only one of a large group of people still on the ship who will ultimately test positive. 

     My experience is similar to what many people are experiencing at home. I spend a lot of time trying to think of things that will help me make time pass faster: I watch TV/Movies, I read and write, I lounge in bed or in the bathtub, I chat with friends and family, but unfortunately for me, a good number of those things may not have even been possible if certain circumstances hadn’t worked out. While the company was willing to offer us free social media, if I wanted to watch TV or movies -aside from the three English channels we have on the tv, two of which are news and one of which is movies (few of which are good)- I would need a European SIM card. I already had one but knew I was running out of data shortly but did’t get paid until the day the ship stopped and we were no longer allowed to leave the ship preventing me from procuring a new one. And, of course, thanks to Murphy’s law, two days later I ran out of data; meaning, by the time I was put in isolation, I couldn’t use my cell phone for anything other than social media (and lacked a connection strong enough to make calls to my family or friends). Immediately my family went to work ordering me a card from Amazon. We luckily found out through trial and error that Amazon was still delivering to the ship (2/3 packages ordered made it onto the ship). While I waited for that card to be delivered, a coworker on the ship was able to lend me an extra SIM card he had, finally enabling me to watch (A LOT of) Netlix and call my friends and family when I can. 

     While the food is lackluster, very repetitive, they sometimes forget the meaning of vegetarian, and I can always count on meals to take up some part of my day, I do miss some of the treats from home. Luckily, my mother managed to find a package of sweets that could be delivered to me. Unfortunately, with boredom comes irrational snacking, and I managed to eat through those sweets (as well as any sweets I had my coworkers purchase under my cabin and bring up to me) in no time at all. The boredom has contributed not only to boredom snacking, but also a feeling of overall laziness; there are days where I have done nothing but lounge in the bathtub, sleep in bed, or hang out on the balcony. But this presents a different problem. While we are in the tail-end of winter, we are still on the water. Temperatures have been wildly fluctuating from 40 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit, making hanging out on the balcony (and sometimes inside) very chilly. There are even times where there is little else to do but just pace back and forth throughout the cabin because there are few places left for me to go. I have been trying to improve my language skills, I have been writing, I have been reading, but when we are busy, we can sometimes forget just how many hours there are in a day. 

     So what impact have recent changes made to life on the ship? Well, like I have stated before, everyone on the ship will go into isolation. Both as a result of my positive test result, and the new directive for the entirety of the crew, I too will continue  in quarantined isolation for at least another two more weeks. The only people exempt from this isolation are crew with necessary duties, similar to what you would expect to find back on land. Those with essential duties are still allowed to do the work they need to do, but with certain stipulations. Even before going into isolation all common areas of the ship underwent strict social distancing rules forcing crew members to sit apart from each other at dinner, when having a drink, etc. When moving about the ship, we were asked to wear medical masks. Even large groups were discouraged. And for those people who have essential duties, these rules will remain in effect. 

     What is more interesting is what has changed in order to make this new isolation more effective. One big one is that the crew mess no longer cooks the food that is given to the people on the ship. All food is being provided from off the ship in pre-packaged containers. Honestly, it is the most mediocre food imaginable (very similar to what one may find in a hospital), made all the more unfortunate because the ship is docked in a country that is known for some of the best food in the world. But, like always, the food is free and is brought to us in our cabins. In light of the other possibilities, these seem like minor considerations and I would happily take that over the risk of infecting those that may not already have the virus, by going to the crew mess. They also brought a new doctor onto the ship. I have not seen the doctor or nurse that were taking care of me since they introduced the new doctor and the new isolation went into effect. I believe they may have also been put in isolation out of fear of exposure to the virus but that is difficult to confirm as I have very limited communication with a lot of the other crew outside of those in my own department. The new doctor continues to come and monitor us twice per day and remains in constant contact with the health authorities off-ship in case someone needs to be removed from the ship and sent to a hospital. The doctors, housekeepers (who take care of our trash and exchanging our linens when the time comes), and professionals who give us our food all wear the utmost in PPE to ensure minimal contact with us; including masks, haz-mat suits, gloves, goggles, etc. Because the people who deliver all these things to me are so covered, I can’t tell if they are outside workers who were brought on specifically for this, or if they are crew members deemed essential crew during this time. 

     The biggest frustration during this time stems not from our inability to do much of anything; but that we aren’t told much of anything. Recently it happened that a crew member from the ship was disembarked to a hospital and eventually passed away. I never met this man, but I have heard from everyone who met him that he was very nice. He was older and from Latin-America and I feel bad that he passed away so far away from home (the fear of everyone who travels for a living). The worst part was that it was never announced to the crew that he was disembarked or that he passed away. We found out in the worst way possible, through a news article that was published and was shared around the ships. In this article, we also found out that the ship was deemed by either the port agents or the Italian government to be “contaminated,” while the other ship from our company next to us was determine to be “clean”. That crew members would begin being disembarked and repatriated upon their negative testing, testing we weren’t even sure was coming for the entirety of the crew (I found out just before publishing this post that I was scheduled to be disembarked shortly but it was cancelled upon my positive test results and will not be rescheduled until I receive two negative test results). Living through this and feeling so uncertain, it is difficult to find out so much information was shared with a news outlet and not with the crew members pushing through day-to-day. The only conclusion I can draw is that they don’t want to constantly be bombarding us with ever-changing and uncertain information and so they choose to withhold information until it is necessary to share. But it certainly does make communications back home with loved ones more difficult. 

     Originally the ship was going to be whittled down to 60 crew members until the ship was ready to begin sailing again and crew would be brought back (whenever that might be as the date has been getting pushed back). Among those 60 was going to be myself; however, it was recently decided amongst those at the home office that the remaining skeleton crew would instead be brought down to a scant 30-35 crew members and I would be sent home. Unfortunately I was not privy to the decision making in this case, but I can only assume that the delays in disembarkation has cost the company more money and they are hoping to save some more by keeping a smaller selection of crew here until the company is ready to operate again, especially when that date is such a moving target. 

     I should say that I am sad to leave, deal with the airports and the hassle that I am sure will come with going through the airports during this time in the United States. However, I have started to become more relieved. While they are not forthcoming with any inclination toward an officiation disembarkation date (especially now that I found out my original plans were cancelled and my results came in positive), I am ready to be home and see my family. Since the result came in, I have noticed a serious increase in anxiety from the people I talk to because I am so far away from home, if anything should happen to me (not that I expect it would since I am over two weeks in isolation and have remained asymptomatic). I also miss food. This entire contract has been a selection of constant rotations of the same foods and I would just like to change it up. I usually fulfill that need by going out in port to eat lunch/dinner, but being confined to a ship (and now a cabin) I am unable to do that. I am ready to be somewhere where the whims of the company do not hold as much sway in my day-to-day life, especially when it is so uncertain. While working with passengers on the ship, I knew what to expect and I knew what my future was… and now I don’t. They have, for the sakes of health and limiting exposure/cross-contamination, cut back severely on the amenities afforded to the crew members on the ship, including shutting down the gyms and disembarking people from the spa (my hair is a mess since I can’t get it cut). There is almost nothing left on the ship and the life here, even after isolation, would afford little change, little please and little interaction. 

     From what I understand, life differs wildly from ship to ship. My interpretation of the rumors flying around are some people are living life as they would if there were passengers on the ship, even when there aren’t. Until they disembark, the type of work may have changed, but they are able to move freely about the ship and enjoy the amenities that remain. Other people are in a situation that is similar, though maybe not as severe, as that which we are facing. One constant is that on nearly every ship, people are eagerly awaiting their disembarkation orders so they can get home. But sadly this is not the truth for everyone. Because of shut downs borders, government orders, and travel restrictions, many people haven’t been able to disembark as easily as the company would like. Some crew members have even had to reach out to their embassy and have them intervene and arrange passage for them. Large groups of crew members have been held at airports and some countries won’t accept the large groups of crew members traveling back home making arranging travels back home nearly impossible. And so for us, there is little else but do what we can and keep afloat. 

Life in a Cruise Ship in a World of People Infected with Fear

     I certainly find myself in an interesting position at a truly uncertain time. Standing before me is something that resembles, less a fork-in-the-road, and more like endless shifting paths, constant only in their change: there one moment, gone in an instant. 

     When arriving on the ship for the start of this contract, the coronavirus was just starting to pop up in the public consciousness. Having grown up in the age of bird flu, swine flu, ebola, and countless other pandemic scares, plus being preoccupied with my own superficial problems in my own little world, the news of a potential outbreak of a a new virus on the horizon barely registered. While working on a cruise-ship with limited internet service, following up on news and current events becomes difficult and the threat of coronavirus snuck up on me like an assassin. In the blink of an eye, it is breathing (or coughing) down my neck and the world I had just gotten used to was thrown into upheaval. 

     Much like the spread of a virus in the body, the changes started off small. Like whispers on the wind, the threat of coronavirus began to creep up in the conversations of crew and passengers. Then, the symptoms began to show when we heard our company wouldn’t be bringing in passengers who reside in China, our Asian itinerary ship would likely be changing their course, and additional notice was given that all passengers and crew would undergo health screening whenever leaving and arriving on the ship (screenings that consisted of questions of where we had traveled recently, our temperature, and whether we were experiencing any symptoms of the virus). Quickly it got worse when we were informed that we wouldn’t be able to go to Israel, one of our most anticipated ports of the itinerary, during what would become our final cruise. But they weren’t the only ones… soon Turkey (the replacement port for Israel) and Cyprus followed suit, throwing our itinerary into chaos. It became a guessing game of what ports we would or wouldn’t be able to go to. Though, after three successful days, it seemed like we may be in the clear…. Until IT happened…

     My feelings toward the 45th president of the United States and the difficulties he has caused for my family, myself, and the industry I work in could fill several blog posts. One of the only things I agree with him on is that fake news exists and that it is a huge problem (for proof, literally look up over half of “news” reported by FOX). Well, we got to experience what fake news can really do.

     While in a port of Greece, I was off-ship having lunch with friends whose jobs include translation and announcements for/to passengers. Suddenly, mid-meal, they received a message from their supervisor telling them to return to the ship ASAP. Little did I know that a similar message went out amongst excursions so they would start leading guests back to the ship. My friends left with such urgency that I was not able to get any information from them (not that they had any). It was not until I got back to the ship that I was able to learn the news: a passenger in the previous cruise tested positive for the virus shortly after returning home. As anyone could have predicted, this caused a small amount of panic amongst passengers and crew, despite regular health screenings and the fact no one, amongst crew or passengers, had shown any signs that they were infected. Unfortunately, one thing happened that no one could have anticipated: we had a journalist on the ship. 

     Due, once again, to my limited access to full-spectrum internet service, I was never able to read the article that was written in its entirety; but, everyone who read it reported to me the same thing (including friends who work on other ships who quickly reached out to me to find out what was happening). The person had reported that several people on the ship had tested positive for the virus, including crew members and people who were still on the ship and that the ship was officially quarantined. They had also taken this a step further by going around to the crew beforehand and asking them general questions, but then quoting them out of context for the article (which was reported to me, with a lot of exasperation, by my friends that were quoted). There are a couple problems here, everyone was screened again as they came back on to the ship and there was still no signs of symptoms amongst anyone on the ship and the ship had already left port and continued on with the itinerary WHEN they reported that we were being held in port for quarantine.

     Well, you might be thinking, “who cares?” Honestly, that was my first thought as well: who cares about someone writing a news article that could easily be debunked on an obscure news website? Well, we had been trained as crew to never talk to reporters so as to not disseminate inaccurate information regarding the situation, and with few news articles were coming out about the experience on the ship, it resulted in these articles getting more traction than expected. Following one more port and one day at sea, we were supposed to be making our way to Malta. Unfortunately for us, they had read the articles and it alerted them that we may be, in their minds, a threat to the spread of the virus, should we be allowed to dock. Despite being convinced by the documents we had from all the health screenings, they still decided that we would not be allowed to visit the country. By that point, the writing was on the wall and we suspected this would be the final nail in the coffin for the future sailings of this ship during the outbreak. 

     We were able to make it to our last two ports, though the word around the ship is that they were not happy about having us there and they, too, almost rejected us. Most businesses were closed in those ports (being that they were in Italy) and we found out during our first of two embarkation ports that we would not be taking on any new passengers. 

     The following day, when we were at our home port of Genova, Italy, we were summoned to a crew gathering hosted by the ship's command. The information we found was not terribly shocking, but it led to a flood of rumors. Even before the meeting, rumors were flying about what may happen to us and what this meant for the future. We received confirmation that we would not be taking on passengers or crew members for the time-being (we were given an estimated time frame of anywhere between a couple weeks to a month before being able to sail again), the ship would be opening some passenger areas to crew members to make our stay more comfortable because we would not allowed to leave the ship until further notice because the Italian government had shut down the country. This raised almost as many questions as it answered and the ship was soon a hot bed of suspicion, conspiracy, and confusion. 

     Trying to navigate the ship after that meeting was like trying to navigate the Republican National Convention. Through the air was flying news and rumors and conspiracy theories; but you would be hard-pressed to find any truth in a majority of what you hear. The main beliefs were that we would be placed in quarantine, like on other cruise ships, that everyone would be staying on the cruise ship until we could sail again and the time would be spent cleaning and fixing up things on the ship, or even that the ship would continue sailing shortly and that we were going to be changing itineraries to a season that was less impacted by the outbreak of Corona. Unfortunately for us, we were not getting a lot of information from our home office because they seemed to be equally thrown by the shocking turn of events brought about by the faster-than-expected spread of the disease. While, in my opinion, they did the right thing by immediately notifying the passengers of the threat of the virus, and barring passengers from coming on the ship until further notice (even if the notice did come somewhat suddenly), their next move was met with some hesitation and confusion by the crew members on the ship. Less than 24 hours after the meeting, where we were told we would likely be staying on the ship for a couple weeks (at least), we were told that crew members would start being disembarked off the ship immediately. This caused a level of relief in some crew, and panic in others. How long would we be without work? Would we even be able to come back? While we found out that our contracts were only being frozen instead of terminated, and we received confirmation that we would receive pay as long as we were on the ship, there was a scramble throughout the ship, and it slowly began to empty.

     So, where am I? Shortly after the alert came through that we would be disembarking, though before the news came out that the entire company would be ceasing operations, I reached out to the home office and requested a transfer. I asked whether or not I could be placed on a still-active ship because I didn’t have enough money to go home and survive until further notice without work. I would prefer to stay and continue my contract if possible. Although I do not know if this was the deciding factor, or if it is my position on the ship, it was decided that I would stay on the ship as part of the skeleton crew that remains while in port. It was estimated now that I will be here for about two months before the rest of the crew were likely to reembark, during which time I would be doing work throughout the department. In total, there would only be about 60 of us who stayed. This was great because at least I will continue to be paid during this time. The day-to-day would change, but we will manage in whatever way we had to. 

     But then, the plot thickened… Despite constant medical screenings and confirmation that no one on the ship had shown any signs or symptoms of the virus, and every crew member disembarking receiving a medical letter of release, most crew members were placed in quarantine when they arrived to their respective countries. This is probably for the best; because, in very quick succession, the ship was notified that a crew members and a couple passengers tested positive for the virus after they left the ship. Immediately, all remaining plans for disembarking crew were cancelled, and all crew who had regular contact with these passengers and the crew member were placed into isolated quarantine for two weeks. The remaining crew who were going about their day were forced to undergo social distancing, they are not allowed to eat within two meters of each other in the mess, they have access to masks and are encouraged to wear them, and the crew bar officially closed (for now).
     Well, I count myself among the close friends of the person who tested positive, and so I now find myself in isolation (a place I volunteered to go, even before I was directed to be here). The company has taken excellent care of those of us who are in this position. We were moved into large cabins (far away from the rest of the crew), we have our food and everything delivered to us (including medical screenings twice per day, all given to us by teams wearing protective gear), and they regularly check up on us (including calls from the captain). 

     I feel (as do many in ship command) that this should’ve been the course for all remaining crew members with non-essential functions,  though I understand that it would have been nearly impossible to coordinate quarantine and isolation with the limited crew remaining on the ship (just shy of 200). I also feel this should’ve been the best for us to do with all crew members since the beginning, but I think the company likely feared that the crew members wouldn’t have been able to go home after those two weeks because several companies were quickly deciding to shut down their borders (not to mention the expense to the company if the entire crew were confined to the ship until further notice). Also, up until very recently, there was no cause for belief that the crew on the ship had the virus. The ship had acted quickly and isolated all crew members who had been in direct contact with the guest who tested positive on the previous cruise, no one had shown symptoms, and we were doing everything right. Even now, it was possible that the passengers and crew member who tested positive could have contracted the virus during their travels after being on the ship, but the company had proven that they are willing to do the best that they can to take care of their crew members and passengers, from little things like making sure those who are forced into quarantine are comfortable and giving us free social-media internet so we can easily keep in touch with our friends and families, to ensuring crew knows that we will have jobs when this does finally pass and sharing all information they can to passengers and crew.

Paid to Travel

     Recently, a post came up on my facebook that summed up ship-life pretty succinctly:

     “Cruise life has such a glam look to the outside world. Pictures posted are of beautiful places we are privilege to see, or the parties we get to ‘unwind’ in after work.

     Reality is, cruise life really is great, but it can also be hard and lonely at times. You work every day for months on end with long hours and no days off.

     You party hard because there’s nowhere else to go after work, no home or family to go back to. Your ship friends become your family- you create great friendships for months on end to maybe never be able to see that person again after that contract ends. Only once you’ve worked at sea can you truly understand the notions of ‘ship-life’.”

     If this post had come to me before, I probably would’ve included them in an earlier post. Bear in mind that I do not know who originally wrote these words. If I did, I would share because the O.P. truly hits the nail on the head when it comes to the work-life balance when living and working on a cruise ship. This is something I always try to make painfully clear to everyone I talk to: when living on a cruise ship, work comes first. That being said, it does provide crew with unique opportunities for exploration.

Do We Get to Go Out in Port?

     This question is presented to me more than I ever expected it would. Of course we have the opportunity to leave the ship! If we didn’t, we would be living on a floating prison/work-camp, and far fewer people would opt to live this life. 

     Let me reassure you, as long as we have no work to do in port, you are welcome to leave the ship... with some stipulations.

When, Where, and How?

     Like I already mentioned, the biggest determining factor for whether we can or can not go out is if we do or do not work. Some people have set schedules while in port that greatly limit their ability to get off the ship and explore the port. The reverse is also true, some people have schedules free during time in port; so whether or not they choose to go out in port is up to them.

     However, not all ports are the same. Some ports only allow crew to explore with the right type of documentation [eg. Certain types of visas (while rare, some crew members’ visas do not permit them to leave the ship in certain ports), passports (which are held by the crew purser during your contract and are only given out for this purpose), seaman’s/Panama books (a type of seaman’s passport), etc.]. Sometimes the ship will not allow crew to leave the ship in certain ports, or drills could be taking place, other times the ship may restrict the time we are allowed to leave the ship, as to make it easier for paying passengers.

     A few constants are that we must have our crew card, we can not take property of the ship with us and they highly discourage the use of name-tags and the wearing of uniforms while in port. One more constant is the “when?” Crew members are only allowed to leave the ship at a certain time and must be back on the ship at a certain time so as not to block the entrances for passengers as they come back on to the ship. Usually, the all-aboard time for crew is about 30 minutes-1 hour before passengers.

This Is the Life

     Just in case you have not caught on yet: this is a job! This is not a vacation; and rest time, as well as time to do the other necessities of everyday life (laundry and cleaning) is limited. Some crew choose to forgo the time in port in exchange for the opportunity to catch up on sleep or chores. As I wrote this, I have not left the ship in over a week. 

     The other major factor is money. Messing around these cities isn’t free, and most things you do in port will likely cost some amount of money. Sometimes it is easier to save the money and stay on the ship. Especially when taking into account the limited time we have to go out, it is sometimes not worth it to leave the ship just to eat lunch or go to the beach for a mere 30 minutes.

Walk-On/Walk-Off

     If you have ever taken a cruise as a passenger, you have gone through a process that is almost identical to what crew go through when leaving and entering a ship, with very little variation. We have to scan our card to get on and off the ship and we have to go through x-ray scanners getting back on the ship (in order to ensure no illegal substances are being smuggled onto the ship). The only slight variations for this procedure is that we must open our bags for search upon leaving the ship to ensure that we are not leaving with any of the ship's/company’s property and we have specific areas that we are designated to leave and reenter the ship (again, to keep most entrances clear for passengers).

Once Off the Ship

     When we leave the ship in port, the ship no longer provides for us. We are granted some amenities (such as the ability to take tender services or buses without having to pay for tickets) but there are limited to even those. We are not allowed to take seats away from paying guests. Which means we may be required to wait for a time to board these buses or tender boats, limiting the time we have to do what we want, or to get where we want to get. Some people opt for Taxi services, but these cost money. It is up to the crew member to get where they want to go; and where we can go is virtually limitless. As long as we show back up to the ship on time, are not drunk, and do not do anything illegal, we are able to go as far as we want to during our time off the ship. 

     Does that mean that everyone takes full advantage of this? No. Some people would rather run errands, go grocery shopping, find things they need, then go back to the ship to get some coveted rest. When in port, if you know where to look, you will easily be able to see the local haunts of the crew. 

Excursions

     The only exception to many of the rules above: shop-sponsored excursions are the only time that we are exempt from restrictions of time (we are allowed to come back after the curfew for crew, we are allowed to leave the ship during passenger times, etc.). Crew members do have to pay for ship-sponsored excursions, though with a discount, and some can be free. However, from my experiences, excursions through the ship are definitely worth it, for both passengers and crew… if there is time or availability. The ability to go on excursions is mostly dependent on the availability of slots not currently occupied by passengers, and we do not usually find out until the day before whether or not we are able to go. 

Miscellaneous

     I wanted to treat the information in the earlier parts of this post in an objective fact driven way. So, I figured I would keep the most personal aspects of this at the end by answering questions that have been posed to me regarding my experiences in the ports.

-Do you have the same ports over and over again?

     Yes. I do. However, I have found out very recently that it isn’t true about all itineraries. While a ship is traveling throughout a particular season, I believed they would stick with the same ports; this actually isn’t true. Some ships in some companies actually have the same ports but in a less structured order. Or they may even do one string of different ports. 

     One thing I kept out of the top (because, again, it is more opinion based) is that this can actually become slightly monotonous. Never, in a million years before taking this job, would I have thought that traveling around the world and having the opportunity to see places I had always dreamed of seeing would become monotonous. And yet… When you are limited in the amount of time you have off the ship, and you find yourself only getting snippets and glimpses of ports that require so much more time to explore, it is hard to truly grasp the wonder of some of these places. Pair that with the fact that these ports become a routine instead of a previously-far-off world, and unfortunately you become inured to the life of travel pretty quickly. This is one reason that many crew members choose to travel on their time off to revisit some places they experienced and would like to experience more, or go to places that are otherwise outside of the reach of ship-life.

     I am living on a ship that is working in Europe. Ask many people that live in the United States and they would tell you that the opportunity to travel around Europe sounds like a dream. I agree; but I have somehow lost the wonder that I first had when traveling to these incredible places. While I am constantly trying to remind myself how amazing it is to be able to visit multiple countries over the course of a single week, it is frequently overshadowed by the fact that work, and life, can often get in the way.

-Do you make friends in other countries?

     I have. Does everybody? I do not know. I do wish I could say that I have made more friends while I am in port; however, most of the international friends I have made are from my time on the ship, and not my time in the port. 

-What are the best places I have been?

     This is my first contract, which means that much of the time I have spent in different countries can be quite limited. Especially when it is the same ports every week. However, this contract did expose me to some incredible places I would’ve otherwise never taken the time to explore without this opportunity. Cities like Valletta, Malta and Palma de Mallorca, Spain, have become some of my favorite ports. And though while I write this one of these ports is no longer on my itinerary, it is a port that I miss going to and eagerly look forward to the opportunity to explore again. 

     This contract has given me the chance to explore one of the greatest cities in the world: Rome. I have had multiple opportunities over the months to go visit a city that is worth every moment that is spent there. Does it live up to the hype and expectations? I had very high expectations going in, and was slightly disappointed by how touristy the city can be, but the history, the art, and the architecture are some of the best in the world and are truly beyond compare to anything I had experienced in my life previously. 

     I also was able to reaffirm my love for the City of Barcelona, which is the first city I had ever (in my entire life) visited in Europe and is still one of my favorite ports. I would happily go there every day and spend time just wandering the streets. 

     Even smaller ports like Genova, Italy and Palermo, Sicily are have their own highlights and their own attractions that truly make visiting them worth it. 

     Two ports I enjoyed because it brought me closest to feeling at home, was wandering around Copenhagen, Denmark, and Helsinki, Finland. This is because, while port cities, they are more metropolitan; which, being from Chicago, meant I got to do the things I miss most about being at home: getting to wander and explore the different areas of the city at my leisure (similar to Barcelona).

     However, the port that impressed me the most with its sheer beauty (and is also a port I only had the opportunity to visit once) is Flam, Norway. Located in the Fjords, this incredible, picturesque valley is a place that I would happily visit again and sincerely hope for the opportunity to do so. While I mention above that I love the ability to wander and explore the city, this place is almost the exact opposite. While there is a small town, this port is almost exclusively nature, with trails leading up into the hills and the ability to just take in the breath-taking beauty of a port that many people have never had the good fortune to explore. 

     To round this post off, I will also mention that many crew members will wait until the end of their contract to visit a lot of the major attractions near their ports. Before this contract ends in three weeks, I am hoping to be able to visit Milan, Pisa, Cinque Terra, Monaco and Tuscany to end my contract by creating more memories that I can take with me. Though if the opportunity isn’t possible, I know what I will be doing in the future. 

     Because I am an American working for a European company on a European itinerary, guest interactions can sometimes be very different from what you are used to back at home. So, in my next post I want to discuss what it is like, as an American, working with an international clientele.

Free (?) Time

     One, near constant reaction I heard in response to my starting to work on a cruise line (other than, “That’s such a cool opportunity; think of all the places you’ll get to see!”) was, “I could never live working that much!”

     A point I always try to stress to those people is that it is not like working on land where your time off is spent doing menial tasks, such as: grocery shopping, cooking, and constant travel (I had to travel sometimes a few hours per day for work, let alone anything I chose to do in my free-time). While we are doing many things that we do on land- like going to the gym (well… not me), going to the bar, going to friends’, going to eat, etc.- these are all things (unless on shore, in port) that require no considerations of travel. Ultimately, we still have a comparable amount of free-time to what we are used to on land when you remove the other uses of our free time.

     However, something a crew member is quick to realize is that what you do in your free-time can have a profound affect on your mental health and your ability to cope with the heavy stresses of ship life. 

R&R

     If you asked 100 crew members what their favorite past-time is when they are not working, and I can guarantee that at least 50 of them would say SLEEPING. Depending on your department/position or itinerary/port, sleep schedules can be very erratic. Pair that with long working hours and the stress of your work and it shouldn’t be hard to believe that sleeping is a favorite past time for many when they clock out. 

     I, myself, feel I have taken more naps during my time on the ship than any other time in my adult life combined. Unfortunately, too much rest can be bad for you. If you only rest and work, you will begin to feel incredibly isolated. 

A Different Kind of Bill

     Many people ask me a silly question, “What do you enjoy doing in your free-time while on the ship?” I find it silly because, I enjoy the same things that I enjoy doing on land. While some of these pleasures are denied to us (the ability to go to our favorite restaurants or eat our favorite foods regularly, going to the movies, going to see shows, etc.), all of the pleasures of daily life are still there. We can have sex or date, hang out with friends, eat, and sleep; all with the added benefit of having very few bills and getting to travel and explore new ports, with different opportunities not afforded to us at home. However, one thing that seems to be a constant on the ship is the joy of going out and drinking after work.

     Drinking, unfortunately, is not a bill that is covered for us. We do have to pay for our drinks (though, usually, at a steep discount). You think you party hard when you go on a cruise as a passenger? That is nothing compared to what it can be like behind the scenes. While we technically have a B.A. limit so we do not get too out of control, it can sometimes be hard to enforce because every person processes alcohol differently. As long as you do not cause chaos and destruction, you are usually good (though, yes, I have met people who were later disembarked for drunken and disorderly conduct, and I have seen random alcohol testing). If you have been on a cruise ship as a passenger, I can almost guarantee that you have worked with someone who may have been hung over, but life goes on and the work continues, regardless. 

      Alcohol is not allowed in our cabins and the places we are allowed to drink are somewhat limited: we are allowed to drink at crew parties (more on that in a little bit), we are allowed to drink in the crew bar and the crew disco, and certain members of the crew (those designated as staff) are allowed to drink (in uniform) in passenger bars, but with stipulations. While in passenger bars, we have to pay a slightly discounted passenger price for drinks (which can be very expensive). We are also not allowed to sit at the bar (or in any other way take seating away from passengers in an effort to maintain the image that the passengers come first in these areas and not to give the impression that it is a crew function), and we have to vacate those premises at 2 a.m. 

     The crew bar and the crew disco are both relatively similar excluding their hours of operation and whether or not you can smoke there. The crew bar is open for several hours throughout the day (closing at 1 a.m. on both ships I have been on) and serves both alcohol, coffee, juices, etc. However, smoking is strictly prohibited throughout the ship, including the crew bar, except in specially designated areas. One of those designated areas is the crew disco. Several people have told me that the crew bar used to be open until 2 a.m. and the crew disco until 1 a.m. until complaints from smokers who had to go back and forth were heeded and they chose to reverse the times. Though the validity of those claims is up for debate, it is true that the crew disco only serves alcohol until 2a.m. on both the ships I have been on. Different ships have different levels of enforcement with the “closing” of the crew disco: with one ship I was on forcing all crew to leave at 2:30, and another allowing the crew to stay several hours later. This could have something to do with proximity to passengers’ cabins (as the one ship had the disco very close to passengers’ quarters), or it could be the whim of the head security, who’s job it is to ensure the premises are vacated. 

     The drinks in the crew areas are extremely limited, with only a basic selection of liquors, a small selection of wine and beer, and the basic mixers available. However, I doubt anyone who works on the ships would say that it doesn’t get the job done. 

Party Time? Excellent

     Crew parties can be a special kind of crazy, and sometimes a special kind of awkward. For someone who is new to the ship (see my earlier post about the crew party being on the first night of my contract and my decision to go to the party), it can be very awkward, without friends, to make any headway into groups that may have already formed on the ship. Of course, there are some people who can do this with ease, but I am not one of them. 

      These parties are coordinated by the HR department on the ships and can be themed (gala night, pool party, etc.) or not. Ultimately, the goal of these parties is pretty simple; allow the crew to blow off steam in a controlled environment and have a night of fun. But because there are very few crew-specific areas that can hold that many people, often these parties take place in passenger areas and must be coordinated in a way to keep passengers out of the party, and the rest fo the crew out of the remaining passenger areas (especially if they have been drinking). So, these parties are often overseen by security, who’s job it is to make sure that these standards are upheld, and ensure that nothing gets out of hand. 

     These parties usually feature a DJ, a selection of alcohol that may vary based on who is coordinating the party, and a LOT of crew members, who eagerly await these parties. The frequency with which these parties are held depends mostly on how often the HR department wants to hold them and how often they can secure a location for these parties to take place. They could happen monthly, bi-weekly, weekly, however often they feel it will boost the morale of the crew on the ship. 

Back to the Cabin.

     What to do when the party is over or you just want some quiet time? Some people choose to move the party to their room. And while alcohol may not be allowed in crew cabins, there is nothing against having friends in the cabin as long as they do not disturb the people in the cabins around you. So, having friends or partners over is not uncommon, but it heavily reliant on the permission of your cabin-mate, as we are supposed to receive permission of the people we live with to have anyone else in our cabin (according to our on-boarding handbooks). However, sometimes there is nothing better than to spend a quiet night watching movies or tv in your cabin. 

     I went into a decent amount of detail about what I brought, and what I may suggest bringing to help fill the hours between work; as well as discussing the details of our living quarters on the ship. Not all time that is spent in the cabin is spent sleeping or with other people and many people on the ship will spend their time ashore downloading the latest movies and TV shows and will choose to watch them while handing out in their cabins. So, having a smart phone or laptop and a good torrenting website is a necessity for many crew members. For me, most of the movies and TV shows I watch came courtesy of my best friend and her (now) fiancé who downloaded several movies and tv shows for me to watch in my down-time. If you do not do any of these, your only option left is the generosity of those around you or watching the TV that comes in the cabin, which is very limited in terms of what there is to watch (as it is the same TV service provided in passenger cabins).

Around the Ship

     Staff members do have it a little better than crew in terms of freedom to roam around the ship (compared to crew members who are only allowed to be in passenger areas for work or during specifically designated times or events). We are welcome to visit most passenger areas under the condition that we are in uniform (including the on-ship nightclub). The only exception to the uniform rule are those that do not always have a set uniform (i.e. international host(esse)s, dancers, musicians, entertainers, etc.), but  must, regardless, be dressed in a way that is appropriate. We are also able to go visit areas like the arcade, pool deck, spa, etc. However, we are not allowed to use passenger amenities (aka thermal area for spa, passenger pools, bowling alley) unless time has been designated and arranged by the ship for crew use, or it is paid for like a passenger. Sometimes there are days where the ship will designate a few hours for crew to use the thermal area of the spa, or parties where the crew are able to use one of the passenger pools, or the arcade/bowling alley can be reserved by a department for a team-building night. But these are few and far between; because, again, they want to ensure guests know that their entertainment comes first on the ship and too many crew members in a given area gives the illusion that passengers are not allowed or that crew has a certain area reserved. 

Ship Sponsored Events

     There are times that are designated specifically for crew that can take place in certain, designated, passenger areas of the ship. I already gave the information for crew parties. However, there are other things that happen throughout the ship. Because not everyone is a heavy partier, and some people work during those times, there are other events that the ship can have to help boost morale and keep spirits high. Aside from times for the spa and parties where the pool may be used, there are sporting competitions and events, movie nights where they screen recently released movies, talent shows or private showings of the theater shows on the ships, dance or exercise classes, and many others. These are usually coordinated and are at the whim of the HR department for the ship and vary from ship-to-ship. But all these things can be a welcome distraction from the relentless work of ship life. 

From Work, to Working Out

     All knowledge about this passage is going to mostly be second-hand, as I have made it abundantly clear that I do not work out, on the ship or off. However, some people do find that working out is one of the best ways to spend their down-time. To hear some of my coworkers put it, it combines some of the best things of other past times: like an outlet for frustration, a release of endorphins, helps boost self esteem and morale, helps boost energy and also helps you sleep when you need to. All these arguments are logically sound and the only excuse I find myself making for not working out regularly is because I feel like I would be embarrassing myself if I were to go by myself and not know what to do. 

ME

     Going from something that I don’t do (going to the gym… blah), to the things that I do do. I want to go a little more in depth with some of the questions people have asked me about what I enjoy doing on the ship, or what there is to do on the ship in general:

-What is the crew bar like?

     I could’ve gone more in depth with this question up top, but I figured it would mess with the pacing and narrative flow of the rest of this post. The crew bar is pretty straight forward. While it is decorated differently on each ship, it is usually located on the main crew deck (deck 4 on both ships I have been on) and has a bar, ample seating for about 40-50 people at any given time, and usually have a more relaxed atmosphere. The crew disco is usually located close to the bow of the ship near (or including) access to the crew pool deck on the front of the ship. Of course, I couldn’t tell you how that may vary on other companies, or whether that holds true with every vessel for the company I work for; however, I have heard this is pretty standard. The crew disco also has a bar, is usually similar in size or larger than the bar, and has more seating with a more energetic feel (which you could probably grasp by the name). There is usually a table-soccer game on the ships I have been on that is used nearly constantly by the crew as a means of entertainment outside of sitting down, drinking, smoking, and socializing. Unfortunately, the crew disco can get pretty smokey and can be uncomfortable for some and is sometimes avoided by those people. 

-Are you allowed to hang out with passengers while off duty? 

     Surprisingly, yes. You can not fraternize in any way, but because staff is welcome in passenger areas, as long as the rules are observed, there is nothing wrong with you hanging out with passengers while you are in those areas. I even had a guy visiting the ship from Chicago who invited me out for a drink one day just to talk about how life on the ship is different to life in the Windy City. You’d do well to be sure that expectations are made clear and that you are not setting yourself up for trouble.

-What are your guilty pleasures on board?

     While I am sure someone was hoping to hear me to say that I love to have endless sex, and party every night until 5a.m. Honestly, my guilty pleasure is napping and writing. Since starting this blog, I have found myself looking forward to writing in my free time and eagerly awaiting posting each week to hear the feedback from the people who take time out of their schedule just to read the words I am writing for no one in particular. Honestly, none of these pleasures are particularly “guilty”, and while I do enjoy partying, hanging out with friends, and meeting new people, I also know that I need to take care of myself mentally and physically more than I felt I needed to at the beginning of the contract. 

-Do you get to go off the ship/go into port?

     This is actually a great lead in to my next post. I have intentionally left details about time spent off the ship out of this post because this subject is one that warrants more focus than just being shoehorned into this story. So, I will answer, yes we do get to go out and explore ports, and I will talk more about it next week!

Friends, Dating, and Sex

      Originally when working on the outline for the order in which I would do these posts, I had intended to do “what to do during free-time” after "work"; because, obviously, that is the logical next step. However, relationships onboard can greatly impact your free time.

Friends

     Because you are leaving your friends behind when you first come on the ships, one of the first steps people take is to try to find friends. Friends are a necessity as a support system, for comfort in the hard-times, and to help fill the void left by the separation of you and your friends back home (and hopefully avoid SOME homesickness).

     I have a small advantage in this regard and it wasn’t just my magnetic and charming personality (…and yes I am rolling my eyes are hard as you are while I am typing that sentence). But, before I get into my spot of good luck, allow me to give you some background about me as a person and my romantic history.

Taylor’s Love Life (or mostly lack thereof)

     To say that my past dating history has been rocky would be an understatement. While I try to keep this blog focused on me and my life on the ships (and keep the general tone positive), the past shapes the future and a lot of interactions in my life are a result of these past experiences. 

     I have dated a guy who had another boyfriend behind my back (along with cheating on me multiple times), another who was emotionally abusive, a guy who constantly tried to check my phone because he didn’t trust me, one who told me that he hoped I died, and yet another who left me to get back together with their ex. For so many other guys I was “great,” just “not great for them.” There was always someone better, nicer, more handsome, etc. (a lot of which contributed to my very poor self-image). I know I am not guilt-free, I have treated men badly in the past and I have been trying to grow as a person. These people may have grown since then (and I am even friends with a couple of them), but the impact on me was profound. 

     My last boyfriend was when I was 20 and I have been single ever since (save for a couple dates). This was never really by choice. I have very unique outlooks on dating and relationships (or at least, I thought they were unique until I moved to Chicago): I believe in open relationships or polyamory (which ever is mutually agreed upon) that is built on trust and open communication. So, obviously this doesn’t attract everyone… Plus, I can’t sell myself very well (see my earlier post where I talk about my poor interviewing skills). I am terrified to go up and talk to people I find attractive and my idea of flirting is creepily staring and making sarcastic, darkly-humorous jokes. I blame my parents (obviously joking).

     That all changed last November when I met (on a cruise no less) a guy named Nathan. We are almost the same age and were immediately drawn to each other. From the day we met, we spoke every day for hours. All my insecurities vanished because regardless of how I felt about myself, he liked me exactly how I was. We made fantastic plans to take a trip together (plans I was determined to see through). Because he lived on another continent and had already planned to take a cruise with his friends, it was decided I would join him on this trip. I worked every day for two months to be able to afford it. 

     All the while, I am going through my cruise application process. Not only was he supportive, he was one of my biggest cheerleaders (I even mention him in a previous post, mentioning him as one of the people I called first when I found out I got the job). The job happened to be on the cruise-line I was intending to join him on. I had the money, so I booked the trip… Well, the day after I booked the trip, he became distant. When we stopped talking regularly, he wrote it off as a busy work schedule. My friends could all see that I was anxious and uneasy. Sure enough, 4 days before the trip, he ends it (and with that came back all my insecurities, "Obviously, something must be wrong with me.")… Even better, the next day I find out I will be working on the ship I now found myself going on alone. Just to add insult to injury, this ship also happens to make port in city he lives next to…. If there is a god, she too has a dark sense of humor. 

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

     So, like a phoenix, out of my heartbreak came opportunity. I was able to meet and bond with some people and coworkers on the ship I would be going to (lucky I found this out beforehand, otherwise the trip would’ve been a total loss). I had a leg up and had already made friends. However, there are some circumstances that make finding friends more difficult. 

Friends from Afar

    There is a phrase that is commonly thrown around on the ship: “Paisano.” In layman’s terms, this phrase basically means your own type of people, referring to nationality. Outside of your department, who are usually the easiest people with whom you can make friends, the next easiest are people who come from a similar background.

     Unfortunately, I work for a company that, unlike many American-centric cruise-lines, caters to a very international market. This means that, on both ships I’ve been on, I have been the only (or one of the only) Americans working on the ship. Also, my lack of ability to speak in other languages doesn’t help. Many of the nationalities that band together on the ship tend to speak in their common tongue. And who can blame them? This means I should get alone well with other native English-speakers, but even those are incredibly rare. I can be sitting in a circle of 10 people, all speaking in a language I do not understand and it makes you feel incredibly isolated.

Friends in a Nutshell

     One aspect of working on a cruise ship that has made it incredibly fulfilling has been the ability to meet and make friends with people from all over the world. I have had the opportunity to spend time with people from countries I couldn’t have found on a map with a gun pointed at my head. This opportunity that has taught me more about difficult cultures than I ever learned off-ship.

     One other pleasant surprise has been the ease in which I manage the make friends in different departments. While people you directly work with on a regular (read: daily) basis tend to be the ones you develop the closest bond with, I have many friends in damn-near every department. Meeting and making friends with these people is a great way to broaden your horizons and learn more about the ship and different positions.

Dating

     When I came to work on a cruise ship, one of the influencing factors was that I was technically single. I was talking to a guy, but he lived overseas and I never would’ve expected that I would end up on a ship that would make port in his city. So, I assumed that many of the people on the ship would likely be single. I was wrong. Many people who are on the ship have significant others (dating or married) both on and off the ship. Though my experience has made me familiar with a new term: ship boyfriend/girlfriend.

     Because so many people, like their onshore counterparts, crave the intimacy of a significant other, they tend to look for romantic partners onboard Unfortunately, it is very difficult to guarantee future contracts together and can therefore be hard to continue, unlike most relationships on land. This is especially true when they could conceivably live continents away. However, I have met innumerable people who have even married the people they have met working on cruise ships.

The Love(less) Boat

     Sadly, like my life on land, I have not been particularly successful in finding a relationship. Through I am hardly alone. Dating on a cruise ship is fraught with unforeseen complications: cabin-mates, conflicting work schedules and inconsistent times for dates, language Barries, and cultural differences. Along with the normal complications of dating (and adding in the sexual incompatibility of gay men and women and their heterosexual ship-mates), it isn’t entirely surprising to hear that some people don’t even bother trying to go down this path.

Sex on the High Seas

     One thing that did not live up to the expectations set forth by the friends I’ve met that currently, or have in the past, work(ed) on cruise ships: cruise-life is not the bastion of guilt-free sex with attractive multi-cultural people that they described to me. This is not true of everyone, though I’ve met people who expertly navigate these waters I have not been nearly as successful. Some pitfalls that I’ve witnessed may seem obvious in hindsight, but some you may never see coming. 

     One major factor to look at with sex is to be careful who you choose. This is obvious, but the reasons may not be entirely apparently. For one, first and foremost, you’re in a place of work; making unwanted sexual advances can result in action taken by HR. It is even discouraged (in our welcome aboard informational packet) that we not initiate and contact or behaviors that could be perceived as sexual. Also, while it is well within your liberty to date or sleep with your coworkers, you should always be conscientious of how it can affect your working environment. 

     While not always true, if you sleep with someone, it is safe to assume some people will likely know about it. People on cruse ships are prone to some level of adolescent gossip; and, if you give someone a reason to, will talk bout their experience with you with their paisano, friends, or entire department. You may also find that the rumors are like a game of telephone: that they spread fast, wide, and are horribly distorted from the truth

    Another hurdle is mutual interest and attractions. Just like on land, some people are focused on finding a relationship, while others are focused on having as much fun as possible outside of work. Unlike on land, some people are only here to work and prefer to make connections back at home. Also, there is the necessity of mutual sexual attraction as well as cultural views of sex/sexual relationships.

    The (sometimes) biggest aspect of sex on a ship is location. Sex can be prevented easily due to lack of venue. Sex in passenger areas (even with other crew members) is punishable with termination; and, unless you are a manager, you are at the mercy of your cabin-mate. While some people feel rules are made to be broken; people are regularly disembarked for infractions regarding sexual misconduct

If the Boat’s A-Rockin’, Don’t Come A-Knockin’

     I mostly just wanted to title the last part of this post for the sake of my own amusement. But here I will more directly address the questions that have been posed to me that do not fit into the overall narrative, structural flow of the rest of this post. 

-Are you allowed to sleep with passengers? Do people still do it? Have I?

     The simplest answer the first part of this question is no. Any form of sexual act with a passenger is punishable by immediate termination. Even going to a passenger’s cabin without a work-related need (or they are not pre-authorized family or friends) is punishable by termination. Many people say to me, “Well, there is no way for them to know.” There are hundreds upon hundreds of cameras throughout the ships that are under regular surveillance. There are regular patrols throughout the corridors on the ship by people going about their jobs in various departments, and guests and crew alike can report you. We are even discouraged from hugging passengers for the sake of avoiding complication with guests who could report this as sexual behavior (unless it is initiated by the guest). The solution I’ve heard is most commonly employed to avoid getting caught is meeting ashore (which is still against the rules, but harder to get caught). 

     Do crew still sleep with passengers on the ship? Of course they do. Like I mentioned before, people are regularly disembarked for sexual misconduct (both with and without passengers). However, there are more, even still, who get away with it and enjoy it almost as a form of sport. They like the thrill of getting away with it. This is why the answer to the last part of the question is another no. I don’t believe I could get over my nerves or fear of getting caught.

-How has sex and dating been for you on the ship?

     Please allow me to first respond to this question with approximately 10 minutes continuous laughter. I can’t even get a date on land with a larger pool of possibilities (even coming from a very liberal, progressive, sex-positive gay city). There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but that doesn’t mean I am good at fishing. 

     I have been ending the last couple posts by specifically talking about how certain aspects of my personality have made it more difficult for me to adapt to life aboard: namely my low self-esteem. I have given more background about the root of those problems in this post, so you can see that one BIG area this is likely to affect me is in the dating/sex department. However, a few other aspects of my personality play a factor here as well. One is my near constant need for approval, which creates an almost desperate need for acceptance and regular reassurance. The other is that I am someone who feels emotions very strongly. If I am sad or depressed, I can sometimes be paralyzed with the feeling. If I am happy, I am manic and sometimes even a little crazy. Also, I have a lot of love to give. I tend to find myself easily capable of developing crushes on people, and it can sometimes be multiple people at once. Well, imagine what it must have been like for someone like me to come on to the ship and find themselves surrounded by countless good-looking, kind people, from a variety of cultures. I found myself attracted to too many people. It may have only been 3-4 people, but this created an image in others' minds that I was a slut or that I was chasing after all the guys on the ship. Have I had sex on the ship? Of course I have (almost everyone who is single working on ships has had sex if they were so inclined for it to happen); but these people told other people that it happened and this just bolstered the opinions that people had already formulated about me. The ultimate irony is that I would love to have sex regularly, but I have had less sex than almost anyone else I have talked to on the ship. 

     Again, other problems stand in my way of building these types of meaningful (or less meaningful) connections with people. I have terrible anxiety when it comes to approaching people. I was raised in a society that was teetering on the cusp of acceptance of LGBTQIA people, and unfortunately had a near constant fear of approaching people who’s sexuality is unknown for fear of retaliation. Especially in a multi-cultural setting, where this could be made worse by cultural differences. This hasn’t really been the case, and even the straight people I met on the ship are nice, and accepting, and don’t treat adoration by a gay man as some kind of travesty. But also, there is a deficit of out-and-proud gay men on some of these ships. My first ship had a very small cross section of crew that was gay and (while there were others that didn’t tell people, or were on the down-low) they weren’t particularly open to dating or sex (at least not with me, from my experience). The second ship was populated by TONS of gay men, and it presented a different problem. Because there are so many of them they had more choice and would  instead choose to pursue other guys that may be considered more desirable on the ships. 

     Ultimately I feel that I could conceivably find a boyfriend, or sex, or whatever I may be looking for, if I could only first figure out exactly what I want... I tend to be all over the place (just take a look at these posts before editing). While I know who I am or am not attracted to, I know that the biggest obstacle to overcome when it comes to these things is me. I know that I am my biggest problem and it stems from my self-esteem. So... I am the problem, and I need to stop seeing myself a problem to fix that problem. Like I said before, I may have the self-awareness necessary to see the problems I have, but not always the ideas of how best to approach it. But I am trying. But maybe, now knowing what to expect regarding sex/dating on cruise ships, I can avoid some of the mistakes and pitfalls that I landed myself in during this first contract.